Here's the best recipe for an awesome nutrition article:
1. Ignore Health - Health Sshmealth. It's all about body image. If you're writing an article about nutrition, make sure to convince the reader that their primary goal is weight loss and/or achieving physical perfection. Longevity is so lame; who wants to live until 85 if you don't look sexy doing it?? If they haven't been convinced by every TV commercial and diet out that they should be unhappy with their bodies, you may want to tie up those loose ends and seal the deal - a high self esteem adds like 10 lbs, i've heard. If they don't already believe that weight loss is super difficult, you may want to also cement that concept into their minds - i mean, weight loss is super hard, but luckily, they've found your program. You may consider giving yourself the title of 'the Christ' at this point, but humility promotes fatty acid oxidation.
2. Trash the Current Recommendations - obviously, the current recommended standards for nutrients are alll wrong. Make no mention that a team of PhD's and RD's in the field come together to look at all of the literature and make these recommendations - they are all co-opted by the big evil government so their opinions are null. Make sure you realllly hate on the carbohydrate recommendations, and say that we're really missing out on protein. If you cite any sources, either refer to another like-minded blog or make sure you cherry pick just a line or two from an entire nutrition article - the rest of the article is probably trash written by those co-opted PhDs; that one line is all you need - though the nih.gov link will add some legitimacy to your claims. Also, make sure to discredit the current recommendations by pointing to the current obesity epidemic - naturally, all of those obese people are obese because they're following the exact recommendations set forth by the government - it's a shame they didn't find your site sooner!
3. 'Toxins' in our food supply - It is HIGHLY recommended that you incorporate the word toxin into your article if you want people to follow it. Everything is toxic in the food supply - it's just riddled with toxins that your liver could never possibly handle. It's actually amazing you haven't keeled over dead because of all those toxins - they're also the reason you feel like shit all the time (didn't you know? compared to how my diet could make you feel, you are currently feeling like shit!). Some great toxins to list are gluten, GMO soy, and fructose; however, if you don't have a name for said toxins, it's okay to just use the generalized word - the scientific literature supports these toxins' ubiquity so much that you don't even need to cite their names anymore!
4. Why your plan is the best - now that your reader knows that everything about current nutrition is misguided, it's time to let them know your plan. Tell them how innovative it is and how no one has ever thought of your way before, especially not those illegitimate scientists who make the current recommendations. Craft a personal story about how you struggled with achieving your ideal body weight/figure, and FINALLY feeling good, and how you originally stuck to what was recommended but found the perfect solution in the plan you're currently proposing. Make sure to mention that your plan doesn't involve all of those pesky supplements and diet pills - you have found the perfect permutation of macronutrients and micronutrients essential for optimal well being, definitely something no one has ever considered in 'mainstream' health. This plan is the most original, it is going to work, and it's barely going to cost you anything. Make sure your plan only has one or two things that it focuses on - keep it simple - for example, it's all about organic and low carb, or gluten-free and high protein, or even better, let's glorify the ancient past - everyone wants those caveman pecs they saw in their 4th grade picture books! These were definitely not options ever considered by any major nutrition governing body.
5. Success Stories - This part is key. You want people who barely look like their before picture as they do in their after. Find someone who is a relate-able weight to the average person, and have their after picture looking thin and large breasted, if they're a woman, or lean muscle if they're a male. Make sure to not put any information regarding these success stories length of transformation, diet plans, surgical procedures or personal trainer-workout plans - that's just excess info.
Now go make those millions!
1. Ignore Health - Health Sshmealth. It's all about body image. If you're writing an article about nutrition, make sure to convince the reader that their primary goal is weight loss and/or achieving physical perfection. Longevity is so lame; who wants to live until 85 if you don't look sexy doing it?? If they haven't been convinced by every TV commercial and diet out that they should be unhappy with their bodies, you may want to tie up those loose ends and seal the deal - a high self esteem adds like 10 lbs, i've heard. If they don't already believe that weight loss is super difficult, you may want to also cement that concept into their minds - i mean, weight loss is super hard, but luckily, they've found your program. You may consider giving yourself the title of 'the Christ' at this point, but humility promotes fatty acid oxidation.
2. Trash the Current Recommendations - obviously, the current recommended standards for nutrients are alll wrong. Make no mention that a team of PhD's and RD's in the field come together to look at all of the literature and make these recommendations - they are all co-opted by the big evil government so their opinions are null. Make sure you realllly hate on the carbohydrate recommendations, and say that we're really missing out on protein. If you cite any sources, either refer to another like-minded blog or make sure you cherry pick just a line or two from an entire nutrition article - the rest of the article is probably trash written by those co-opted PhDs; that one line is all you need - though the nih.gov link will add some legitimacy to your claims. Also, make sure to discredit the current recommendations by pointing to the current obesity epidemic - naturally, all of those obese people are obese because they're following the exact recommendations set forth by the government - it's a shame they didn't find your site sooner!
3. 'Toxins' in our food supply - It is HIGHLY recommended that you incorporate the word toxin into your article if you want people to follow it. Everything is toxic in the food supply - it's just riddled with toxins that your liver could never possibly handle. It's actually amazing you haven't keeled over dead because of all those toxins - they're also the reason you feel like shit all the time (didn't you know? compared to how my diet could make you feel, you are currently feeling like shit!). Some great toxins to list are gluten, GMO soy, and fructose; however, if you don't have a name for said toxins, it's okay to just use the generalized word - the scientific literature supports these toxins' ubiquity so much that you don't even need to cite their names anymore!
4. Why your plan is the best - now that your reader knows that everything about current nutrition is misguided, it's time to let them know your plan. Tell them how innovative it is and how no one has ever thought of your way before, especially not those illegitimate scientists who make the current recommendations. Craft a personal story about how you struggled with achieving your ideal body weight/figure, and FINALLY feeling good, and how you originally stuck to what was recommended but found the perfect solution in the plan you're currently proposing. Make sure to mention that your plan doesn't involve all of those pesky supplements and diet pills - you have found the perfect permutation of macronutrients and micronutrients essential for optimal well being, definitely something no one has ever considered in 'mainstream' health. This plan is the most original, it is going to work, and it's barely going to cost you anything. Make sure your plan only has one or two things that it focuses on - keep it simple - for example, it's all about organic and low carb, or gluten-free and high protein, or even better, let's glorify the ancient past - everyone wants those caveman pecs they saw in their 4th grade picture books! These were definitely not options ever considered by any major nutrition governing body.
5. Success Stories - This part is key. You want people who barely look like their before picture as they do in their after. Find someone who is a relate-able weight to the average person, and have their after picture looking thin and large breasted, if they're a woman, or lean muscle if they're a male. Make sure to not put any information regarding these success stories length of transformation, diet plans, surgical procedures or personal trainer-workout plans - that's just excess info.
Now go make those millions!
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